They did not manage to locate Sylvester that night and Julian was too preoccupied with thoughts that he too did not sleep that night, leaving Vernetta alone on the queen size bed.
Julian stood at the balcony, looked at the dark sky with few stars, he muttered to himself, “Where are you? Please be safe and nothing untoward happens to you, I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost you for good.”
He did not realize that Vernetta was behind him, with a cup of hot milo for him.
Vernetta moved quietly away from the balcony, left the cup of hot milo on the table and went back to the room.
Julian only went back to bed close to dawn, missing the already cold milo on his way to the room.
He overslept the next day and when he woke up, he got a pleasant surprise from Vernetta.
Vernetta had woken up early and went out to get breakfast for both of them.
Julian felt guilty during the breakfast and broke the silence, “Vern, I really need to tell you something.”
Vernetta looked at Julian and said, “You have not called me Vern for a long time. You have even substituted our names for each other back to when we first knew each other. 1 month is really long enough to change certain status.”
Julian was taken aback by Vernetta’s calm reaction and yet he can’t help but to feel as if Vernetta already knew what he is going to say.
Nonetheless, Julian continued, “It’s not you. It’s my fault. I did not know I have this inclination till Sylvester comes along. I was very happy with you but I found out that I was even happier with Sylvester. I felt like as if Sylvester and I are a family, not the brotherly kind of family, if you know what I mean.”
Vernetta still maintained her calmness and replied, “I knew something was not too right when you suggested bringing Sylvester home. You never bring your charges home, you never allow your personal feelings to be entangled with your work but you had shown all those obviously. Then after last night, I knew how we are going to take our relationship. A woman’s instincts can never be wrong, I can tell you are in love with Sylvester and I thought I would be able to have you back after his disappearance last night but I was wrong.”
“You knew what was going on? How could you tell?” Julian guilty conscience caused him to not dare to look at Vernetta.
Vernetta answered with a weak smile, “I can feel the tension between both of you. I tried to accommodate him into our lives to show my magnanimous and I want my friendliness with him to prove to you that I am capable of accepting all of you. But I am after all not a saint, I ensured that he saw how loving we are together and I wanted him to back out on his accord. I knew going to Paris was a risky move but I took the risk to allow both of you to settle any unfinished business among you. And I knew that I have to come back as a winner. So the marriage proposal was my last resort to bring you back to me.”
Julian finally looked at Vernetta, who at this moment had already started sobbing, “I never knew I would lose my boyfriend to another guy. I even thought that I would never lose you. That’s why I thought of taking the risk to make the trip to Paris at such a time when our relationship was put to the test. But I failed miserably. I have not only lost you, I lost my dignity as a woman too.”
Julian stretched out his hands to hold Vernetta but she pushed them aside, “Don’t touch me. I will pack my things after you leave for work and will be gone before you come back. You can keep or sell off this apartment but you have to return me my share.”
Julian kept his silence for a while then asked, “Where are you going then? Will you be okay? What will happen to us?”
Vernetta wiped off her tears and looked at Julian, “Don’t worry about me. I will be fine. I am a strong woman. We better not talk about our future. There is no more future.”
Vernetta got up from the table and walked to the room and closed it.
Julian cleaned up the table before he left for work, he did not informed Vernetta when he left.
When he reached his office, his colleague told him Sylvester’s case was transferred to another counselor and Sylvester had specifically requested that his contacts not revealed to Julian.
Julian felt as if his world collapsed, he had lost both Vernetta and Sylvester in one day but at least he was relieved that Sylvester did not give up his programme and was willing to continue under a different counselor.
At least he knew that Sylvester was safe.
Julian called Charmaine to check if Vernetta would be staying with her and he got a huge scolding from Charmaine who told him not to disturb Vernetta any more and even scolded Julian a faggot before she hung up on him.
The word faggot hurt Julian badly but he was relieved that Vernetta had someone to take care of her at this moment.
Julian could not concentrate on his work, he felt lost and confused.
He applied for a day off and drove to the beach, he sat there the whole morning, looking at the waves hitting the shore.
He felt the same kind of loneliness and helplessness that Sylvester had told him about. He was thinking of Sylvester, missing him badly and had totally erased Vernetta off his mind.
He stood up and facing the sea, he shouted and shouted to vent out his frustrations and helplessness.
Then he suddenly took off his shirt and jumped onto the sea, swimming against the waves, the pair of pants was immediately wet and started to drag him down but he still continued to swim towards the big ocean.
Then, he was starting to be gasping for air and he paddled in the water to balance his breathing.
His boggled mind started to clear and he realized how stupid he was, he started to swim back to the shore, his powerful strokes revealed he is a strong swimmer and he finally touched the wet sand bed after 20 minutes.
Julian was exhausted when he reached the shore, he collapsed onto the dried sand and laid there, grasping for air.
He never felt this silly and could not believe what he had just done.
He managed to sit up after his breathing was back to normal, he looked at the empty beach and was glad that no one had seen him.
He got up and made his way back to his car and managed to change into a pair of clean boxer.
Sitting inside his car with only his boxer, Julian talked to himself, “I must not do that again, NEVER! I have to wait for Sylvester to come back. I have to wait till Vernetta accepts my apology. I have so many things to complete and I have so many people to care. I must NEVER ever be so silly again!”
to be continued....
Redemption is written by Covantai, who enjoys writing short stories yet having difficulties finding an avenue to post his entries. For more of Covantai, please visit http://covantai.blogspot.com/
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