The One on Mr Rebound

For those of us who have gone through a few relationships, this should be familiar to you. For those of us who haven't, it's best that you know about it now first.

Embrace it or hate it: it is totally unwise to go for someone who has just gone out of a long term relationship. More often than not, Sotongball has seen so many friends of his who dated post break-uppers, just to see them being ditched after just a few weeks of dating. These unfortunate friends of STB had just been labelled as Mr Rebound.

People who just broke up are often more emotional, either still missing or hating their ex. Some even just sub-consciously want to quickly get back into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship, whether they wanna admit it or not. 

The emotional ones should be easy to spot: Those that got ditched will always be talking about how great their ex was and blames themselves all the time for causing the break-up; Those that did the ditching will probably be bitching to you the whole time about what a whore their exes were. 

Therefore, no matter how much you like that person or how long have you waited for him to break up so that you can be with him. Trust me this emotional state of him will be either be a put off for you or you will be most likely discarded after his feelings for his ex die down.

And those that rush back into another relationship probably can't bear to stay out of a relationship for too long. To Sotongball, each break up is a time-off break from a relationship. To really take a step back and examine what went wrong throughout the whole relationship and how we can make the next one better, occasionally I do witness some couples got back together after taking a break. Rushing in to another relationship immediately will just let the same old history repeat itself.

Sotongball's advice on how to avoid having a Mr Rebound situation:

For the break-uppers:

• Take your time to get over the relationship that has just come to an end, before embarking to find a new love. People says the time to get over someone is usually half the time you were together with him.
  
• Hang out with your close friends more, after all ever since you got attached you have been neglecting this group of friends who matter more sometimes and they tend to take your whining better.
  
• Stop wallowing and start reflecting.
  

For the suitors:

• Give them time to heal, DO NOT rush them
  
• Be a passive friend to them rather than aggressively pursuing them. Do not harbor any expectations or you will end up getting hurt the most.
  
• Don't be sad if they find someone else, cause most likely that someone will be Mr. Rebound.
  

This post is dedicated to a friend of Sotongball who just broke up over the weekend. STB almost rushed back to KL to check whether you're alright but decided against it. So I guess the most I can offer will be over the MSN support for now.

But I won't forget our promise of making you my beau if you're still single 6 to 12 months down the road! :p